How Three Words Made My Day
Published Sept 27, 2023
We all have our ups and downs, our highs and lows, our snaberdoodles and thmackulotopias... okay, maybe not the last one (whatever the shamone those even are). For me, I've somehow over the past couple of months I've managed to become emotionally sensitive to things, especially in movies, TV shows, books, comics, fanfiction, video games, and short stories to the point where short stories about mudslides can make me depressed (and no I am not exaggerating - I've read things which have caused me to get 30 minutes of sleep that wouldn't have in the past). Which is exactly happened that day in lit comp. Not only that, but the story was way too high on the emotional side for current me. So I became depressed. And as usual, my mom had no idea why I was so grumpy and sad (she never does, but I also never even try to tell her). And then, we were driving in our Tesla, because we had to drop my sister off with my dad (luckily he didn't force me to come too). And I was staring at my phone or something, I don't remember it that well, and it was actually just last weekend. And I can't remember it that well. But I know I was depressed, and nothing was making me come out of this miserable slump. Until I checked my notifications on Reddit. Because earlier (not sure if it was that day or a few days before), I had commented on the post pinned by the moderator of r/milesprower. The pinned post was telling people to join their Discord server, which I had been in once. (I slipped up and my dad found out I was talking to strangers. Somehow the information got exaggerated by someone - which could've been me on accident - that they were 30-year-olds - that's a whole story for another time though). So of course, I had to comment about how great the Discord server is. And keep in mind that practically the entire subreddit knew that my parents don't allow me to use Discord anymore. And that notification was a reply to my comment from someone in that Discord server that I knew too well. And it contained three words that made my day: "We miss you." In my entire life, I don't think anybody has said that outside of my family. I know my dad and mom have said it, but I don't think that my sister has even said it (that I remember). I don't remember any time that my closest friend, also known as my only friend irl has told me that they miss me. My classmates haven't said that. My teachers haven't said that. None of my coaches have said that. My piano teacher hasn't said that. Nobody at school or sports or whatever cares enough to miss me. Which makes sense. Ever since elementary school, I've had trouble making friends. I soon found somehow, it's easier for me to talk to the teachers, but even they haven't said they miss me. And the fact that some random person on the internet who doesn't even know me cares about me enough to reply with "we miss you" on my comment literally made my entire day. Especially the "we" part. It's not just that person that misses me; the entire Discord server misses me. If that isn't a genuine relationship with people, then there is no such thing as a genuine relationship. For the first time in months, I felt like people actually cared about me, and that's because they did. And before you people against social media say, "well that's because of the dopamine from getting likes and comments and sh*t", well, no. Even if that comment got a thousand upvotes, heck, even a million upvotes, I still would've been depressed. And I can think of replies that you'd expect to create dopamine from - very nice replies - that still probably wouldn't have lifted me out of that state of depression. It was these 3 words that completely changed my mood.
So, what is the moral of this blog post? Well, for kids, teens, adults, anyone else: if you can't find friends in real life but you have some strong relationships online, cherish them. Because even if you don't know the person's real name, or what color their hair is, or if they have a dreamy look in their eyes, that doesn't mean that you can't have a genuine relationship with them. Online communities are great for making friends that share your interests - even in unexpected ways. For example, I found out that someone in the r/milesprower Discord not only shared my love of Tails, but also shared my love of programming. I didn't even know that until I read their bio (when I'm on Discord but the chat appears to not be active, I go through the members list and read people's bio because I have nothing better to do).
And for parents: let your kids chat online, especially if they're having trouble making friends online. And while you might be thinking, "oh well a 30 year old is going to hack them through chatting apps or games and steal their phone number and address and use it to call 911", well here's the thing: as a programmer, I have a general idea of how swatting would work. It's very easy to spoof your phone number - this has been around for a looooooooooong time and for whatever reason, has never been fixed either. Basically, all you need is to choose a random phone number for it to show up as, find a random address that exists, and dial. The phone number and address don't even have to be from the same person. The reason people think it's gotten through games is because when the cops bust in through your door on a livestream, everyone sees it. All you need to get "swatted" is an address. Just make sure to educate your kids on internet safety. And assuming Discord did get hacked, the only way for it to get your phone number and address was if you had both text message 2FA set up and had a Discord Nitro subscription. But on iOS, you can buy Discord Nitro through iTunes, and the hacker would already have your location and phone number from hacking Apple regardless of if you use Discord or not. And keep in mind, the security of these platforms, which are designed specifically to prevent people from hacking into them. And server moderators are trusted users chosen by the server owner to, well, moderate it. These servers keep out people like spammers, scammers, and those weird accounts that are looking for someone to sext with. And lets not forget about AutoMod and similar auto-moderation tools. I remember I said something that contained "dead" and "chat", and the AutoMod thought I was trying to spam (saying the chat is dead is considered spam). So I got muted for 6 days... except the mods looked at the audit log and saw the message was innocent so they manually unmuted me. The point is, AutoMod can flag potentially inappropriate stuff (and sometimes appropriate stuff on accident) without having to have a moderator on the server 24/7. So let your kids use Discord, especially if they're having trouble making friends in real life. Plus, Discord has built-in parental controls now that allow you to see who your kid is talking with and what servers they're in. Who knows, they might make more friends then you thought it was possible to make and keep in an entire lifetime.
